Today I (Kristen) attended our church’s If: Gathering Women’s Conference. It was an all day event, and as we recently started attending this church I was really looking forward to connecting with some other women and forming the beginnings of some new relationships. Goodness gracious, I was hoping to be known by the 8 other women at my table, NOT all 200 attending as it turned out!
The conference had just started with some announcements when I felt something rubbing on my legs. I wasn’t alarmed until I looked down and instantly panicked. The scariest, hugest, meanest looking SQUIRREL was attached to my leg! A brief thought passed through my mind that if I stood up and screamed, I would draw the attention from everyone in the room and interrupt the conference. Worth it? Definitely. I literally stood up flailing and yelling, trying to fling the rodent from my body.
It didn’t work! The more my body convulsed, the stronger the squirrel gripped onto me and the higher it CLIMBED! Our church is located with beautiful trees outside, and I was convinced this rabid squirrel had somehow found its way inside, attached itself to me, and was going to bite and infect both me AND my baby!
My table leader lives on a farm and has killed many a mole on her property (I found out later). She came to my rescue and grabbed a folder and started swatting me and the rodent attached, trying to kill it. Meanwhile a woman behind me was telling me, “STOP! STOP!” This advice made sense, because if it had been a wasp I would hold still until the insect moved. This was no wasp, and I could not keep from swatting, flailing, and screaming.
Finally the squirrel was flung from my body, landed on the ground, and picked up by the woman behind me. Yes, picked up. See, as it turns out, this terrifying creature was actually this woman’s PET. She has two of them, and carries them around in a pouch hanging around her neck. The leader of the conference addressed all the women there and informed them that one of their members carries around Sugar Gliders and they are a service animal used for comfort.
I had NEVER heard of an animal called sugar gliders until today. I would actually be okay if I never saw one again in my life. For the rest of the day I kept my eye on that pouch…just in case. I officially met the animals at lunchtime. They were significantly less scary than the rabid squirrel I had seen attached to my leg and climbing my body earlier. Almost….cute? We had some great laughs, I feel bonded to the women at my table, and now all the women in the room know who I am – at least they know me as the Sugar Glider Girl!
The Meyers 